Jane - The Cross Lady

I was raised in a Christian home with my parents and 3 brothers. I suppose we were like most families in those days. My parents were married after the war, as Dad served 5 years overseas. Dad was 30 years old and mom was 25 when they married. My parents moved to the town where my father was born and raised and set up household.

My father worked long hours 6 days a week and was very active in our small community. Dad was a great provider and very outgoing. He had a good sense of humor and loved to tease and have fun. He was also a very hard worker and as my brothers say it, they had to march to his tune when they were working with him. He worked for the postal service for 38 years but on the side he had a couple of small farms, two bottled gas routes and several other venues. Dad was most insistent about our religous training. We attended the Methodist Church every Sunday for church and Sunday school. Dad attended church with us no matter what. Mom attended part of the time. Even when Dad retired at 62, after having a severe heart attack, he continued to work on the farms and maintained his active status in our commuunity. Four months prior to his passing he was on his snowmobile out in the countryside enjoying the beauty surrounding him. He died a few months before his 72nd birthday. Dad became my confidant in later years. He was there whenever I needed him. I loved him dearly.

Prior to their marriage mother had always worked outside the home. After graduating from high school mom lived with her father and stepmother and paid board to reside there. She worked at the "Blue Bell Factory". Mom enjoyed ice skating and dancing and traveling with her friends. After their marriage life must have been quite different for her. She became a stay at home wife, a homemaker. Their first child came a year and half after marriage. When my oldest brother was a year and a half I arrived on the scene. 3 years later another child came. Then nearly 13 years after that my youngest brother arrived. I was nearly 16 by then. She was a great cook and kept our home in good order. Mom was quiet and didn't command attention to herself, no matter what. As time allowed Mom was active in several organizations in our small community. Everyone who knew her loved her. Mother was my dearest friend. She didn't give much advice or have the answers but she always listened. She was diagnosed with Alzheimers when she was just 64 years old. She lived to be 80 years old, although the last 10 years of her life were bleak. I loved my mother dearly.

I assumed I would be married to one man for my lifetime and believed I would have several children. None of that came true. I have been married three times and have one son, Bradley (who is one of the biggest blessings for all time) The simple life I had dreamed of became one of complications  and nightmares, but also one of many experiences and more joys and love than I could have imagined.

I was married at 19 and divorced at 25. I remarried at 26 and was widowed at 36. I married again when I was 40 and I'm happy to say I've been blessed with a wonderful husband for nearly 20 years now.

I worked for a large manufacturing company for 25 years.

God has always been a part of my life although I don't believe I fully understood the joy and peace of the Lord until I became Catholic in 1998. Looking back I understand more today why I made some of my choices in life and the reason for choosing the wrong paths. When I was about 10 years old a classmate invited me to attend a Bible Study Class with her. I can still see the teacher with the picture she drew of a child with an open flap drawn on her chest showing Christ coming in to her heart. I wondered how this could be but I was too afraid to ask. I simply knew I didn't feel anything special and for years after questioned myself. I don't recall ever asking my mom or dad about this. The wrong choices and the pain that followed were the result of not letting Christ in. I cannot tell you the exact moment I felt Christ truly a part of me but I know it was during my R.C.I.A. process and my confirmation. My faith journey truly began at that time. I cannot say it is easy - it's ongoing. There are always forks in the road as I struggle to stay on the right path. Sometimes I fall off and I remind myself I do not want to go back to the time when I didn't feel Christ in my heart, It's an act of will and trust in the Lord. The faith commmunity has been inspirational and has helped lead me to where I am today. As one facilitator said during the R.C.I.A. process: "You do not have to have a professional career to have a talent or gift. Each of you seated here today has a gift or many gifts. All you need to do is listen to your heart". I didn't understand at the time what I could possibly have as a gift to offer. Several years later I had an opportunity to be a facilitator at our church for a bereavement support group for widows and widowers. I was a part of this group for two years. Everyone who wished to participate could share their personal stories, some more tragic than others. I knew from my own experiences you cannot do this alone - just believing you are Christian and saying I am Christian is not the answer. It's letting God take the pain and turning one's self over to Him". This group was beneficial to my healing as well.

I received my first cross pendant from my husband, Jim, after I was confirmed into the Catholic faith. Jim was my co-sponsor during the R.C.I.A. process. He was born and raised in the Catholic faith so he was able to share insight into the beliefs of the church. He listened to my questions, some of which had no answers. As he would say, "this is an act of faith". My faith journey became our journey together. The cross is special for what it was over 2,000 years ago and for what it stands for today - "Christ's undying love for me, for each of us who choose to believe".

As we began traveling more and more I decided to step down as facilitator of the bereavement support group. A couple years later my husband and I were traveling out west. It seemd everywhere we went I saw crosses. On one particular day I was out shopping and walked into a boutique and there were crosses on several walls. They were incredibly beautiful. They were all different and, yet as I studied them, each was beautiful in its own way. Suddenly I wanted one of those crosses. After my husband and I talked I knew I wanted to make crosses, not buy some one else's version. I wanted to make a cross that would be unique and would get your attention. God was speaking to me and I was finally hearing. The next day we were driving down the road looking for a store that might carry wire when we saw a huge banner announcing a Gem Show the next day. Together we decided we would create a cross with wire and artistically depict the body of Christ with gemstones. Jim made a wooden form for sculpting our first 8 by 12 inch wire cross. We didn't realize this at the time but this would be the beginning of "Kirwan Studios". We have been in business for over 6 years now. Since that time we have made many different sizes of the cross and use more than gemstones now. We look for unusual rough cut stones, shells, shark's teeth, unique beads and crystals, medallions, buttons, etc. We now make pendants, ornaments and table crosses. We put our wire crosses on decorative boxes, stones, mirrors, and frames. The name "The Cross Lady" was added a few years ago after people started remembering me that way.

God's hand is in every cross I create. I love making the crosses. This is not a job for me - it's a labor of love. They give me peace and joy and hope for whatever may lie ahead. Because of my work I have met so many wonderful people along the way and many want to share their story. I think some of the folks I meet simply want someone to listen. I try to take the time for them, no matter what I'm doing.

I don't look back and wish my life had been different. I am who I am because of those experiences. I have lived a rich and full life and the blessings have been numerous. I have the Lord to praise for all my blessings, for without Him, life would not be complete. My blessings are many but the most cherished are the Lord and my wonderful family (including our deceased Mackenzie (our dog) and our new puppy, Lexie) and our many dear friends.

Each morning is a blessed new day. Thank you, Lord, for making all of this possible......